Friday rant: 6 things stoopid sales people should be considering

I hate being sold to and hate selling. I just don’t have it in me to say: ‘gimme your loot’ without feeling somehow dirty. Conversely, I hate having sales people’s BS rammed down my throat. You’d have thought the acres of digital space devoted to social media might have solved the problem. Not a bit of it. Still today if I want to get a whitepaper from a paywall site then I have to pay YOU by giving all sorts of information. You want to know my buying habits when all I want is to get information. Most of the time I try be honest but don’t be surprised if I tell you I plan to spend zero any time soon or of I give you 1st name: Donald 2nd name: Duck with an address somewhere close to Alpha Centauri. Gimme the option to ask anonymously and to say I am researching.

But it is coming to something when I do get an email from some sales dickwad who clearly hasn’t read the information I have provided, does a half assed attempt to get my attention and then launches into a spiel I’ve already gleaned from the freakin’ white paper. Talk about stoopid. Here’s an example:

What should they have done?

1. How about run a Google search on my name? See what you find and respond personally to what you see as might be my needs. What with email, Twitter, Facebook and the rest, there is almost certainly enough data out there for you to assemble a profile of what I am about.
2. Tell me about customers who are successful. Better still point to their stories. Even better, point to their stories on their web site.
3. Please don’t use ‘accreditations’ as a selling point at this stage. Maybe later and only if they’re credible. Most of them are not. But if you must do so then please show me the accreditation document.
4. Point me to the catalogue of services or provide links that help me. OK – so you might have to make some assumptions but providing examples is better than a simple link to your main landing page which on this occasion is bloody awful.
5. Research means I MAY be interested. It means I am information gathering. When people download these things that is usually what they’re attempting to do. Please respect that.
6. Please remember that many of those doing research have been tasked to do so. They’re not buyers. They MAY recommend so treat them like the valuable contact they can be. That doesn’t mean schmoozing them with some golf day out offer but attending to their request.