Jeremiah Owyang: invent a new word for Vodafone Spain

I am patient, I am forgiving, but I am done with a service that refuses me to dial ANY numbers for reasons of what it’s blah blah auto-fucktard service says are account issues. Duh? I’ve been a faithful and full paying member of Club Vodafone for 5+ years. On mobile alone they’ve had €7500+ of my money. Ergo – if you come to Spain then feel free to join up with the Vodafone mobile service. It’s pretty darned good once you understand what you’re paying for. But.

For goodness sake do NOT, EVER, NEVER sign up for voice and DSL. Not only is the service a steaming pile of poo (ie raw data up and download is within tolerance but goodness knows if you have to load a…web page..).it is teh sux and no-0ne wants to take responsibility.

Then to add insult to injury not only do these numbskulls have little idea what they’re doing, they have almost no idea what I’m trying to get done. I can’t get any meaningful information online. It doesn’t recognize me. Wonderful.

As I write this, I cannot make ANY landline calls to ANY numbers. According to the automated service, I have used up whatever credit they have decided I was allocated. Plus, the department I need to speak with is closed for the day. Given the importance of communicating back to the UK this is a total teh sux. Oh – I can use my mobile number. At extortionate rates.

Notice to Vodafone – you are beyond crap…you are a Royal PITA. I cannot wait to get away from you even if I have to pay €1K penalty or more. Your idea of service is way beyond sucking to the point I hope Jeremiah Owyang can invent a new word for what I have experienced. Not only do you lie, you fuck your customers over. You make Telefonica look good. And that’s a hard act to follow given Telefonica is rated as one of the worst services in Spain. What else does Vodafone have to do – give me a personal rectal probe? I am beyond incandescent.

Jeremiah Owyang is the man for customer advocacy stuff. Maybe he can invent a new word for this ‘service.’

Update – Vodafone applies an arbitrary limit of €60 per month for new landlines. It doesn’t tell you that when you sign up. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve had a cell line with them before. It doesn’t matter that you also have DSL. When you reach this limit by whatever means (which in my case is in a week – goodness knows how) they simply cut you off until the next billing cycle. Right now there seems no way to interrupt the cycle. See the logic? If you don’t then Spain is not a place for you because in the mind of Vodafone Spain, this is entirely logical. I waited 48 mins this morning with the call center before the nice lady at the other end told me she cannot get through to her own billing department to find out what is going on.

Update 2: Apparently I’ve managed to rack up €88 in a week. As suspected, they cannot take the money from the bank. Has to be paid by credit card. They’ve just lost a customer on all services. Forever. Penalty will be €300. Worth every penny.

Tagged as: Jeremiah Owyang, Landline, Spain, Telecommunications, telefonica, Vodafone, vodafone spain